A Sense of Humor Doesn’t Age

It’s a thing you only gently notice in your twenties, but by the time your thirties come around and you see your first few gray hairs, in places you would rather them not be, you are sure of it, “Yup, I’m aging.” Though this fact has been true the moment your cells began dividing in your mother’s womb, something about seeing the wrinkles slowly appear, and your patience for certain things slowly disappear, solidifies this one fact: this body will not live forever. It can be a challenge to love something that you feel is betraying you through the inevitable passing of time, that we often see as an enemy, instead of a most cherished friend. Though, a gift these beautiful loaned bodies shall remain. From within them we declare so loudly what we don’t have time for, in hope for some reflection’s echo of agreement that makes us feel a little less alone in our defiance, the fear of embracing our death, on the horizon of a child’s eyes. In the last moments, the truth is, we have time even for the most annoying thing.

But who wants to grow hair out the ears!? I mean seriously. And where does the long nose hair really end. Why must speech slow down like knees? And why do I need glasses now? For the longest while I just thought, you know, “something was in my eye.” You want to know what was in my eye, a prescription, but I couldn’t read it. Life is one big catch 22, and rightfully so, it is how it makes you reach for and remember community, the people you age with and need. This knowing that 100 years from now, none of us will be here, makes you search for others that “get it” the older you get. What to do with this feeling of having a longer story than the younger ones want to listen to? Cherished eternal elder of elders, can you teach me?

In April of this year, our EIC community lost a very special soul that “got it,” and though suffering through each stage of cancer as we painfully watched, she made time to share long stories, and she made time to laugh full and deep. Sometimes all we would have to do is look at each other, and the comedy of whatever the situation was, was instantly communicated. And isn’t that what community is, that someone once a stranger, can become long lost family you can share wordless laughter and love with. That though temporary, life gives us these gems of memory to hold on to, these reasons to enjoy each breath we take. Reasons to reconnect with those we’ve stayed away from for far too long. It is as if we like to pretend that we are in these incarnations forever, and that delicious delusion, eases the gentle prick of each seconds permanent passing. We know we are leaving. We must make the time to see each other.

Blessed are those who notice the moments when time slows down for a window of miracle to be made manifest. Being allowed to say goodbye at the right moment, is a miracle. As she lay on her death bed, we sang a healing icaro together in the hospital one last time, we laughed together, the final laugh, the laugh that hides tears, but is still so sweet. I kissed her gently on her head, and whispered I love you in her ear. As I looked back one last time before heading to the airport to catch my flight back to Peru, I knew it was my last time seeing my friend alive. From that moment I have learned a few things, humor can never have a terminal illness, and like the beautiful soul light of my dear friend, mother to our medicine circles, a sense of humor doesn’t die.

This post was written in loving memory of Karina Rivera. Thank you for becoming a guardian, a guiding spirit, an ancestor. Thank you for being a most wonderful friend. The soothing sound of your joyous laughter, fills my heart today.

With Love,
Kevon

What To Do When ‘Role Model’ Picks You

“I didn’t sign up to be anybody’s role model” – Some Free Spirit

Sound familiar? Hey there free spirit, yeah you. What did you think following your dreams passionately to completion was going to do ? How could you have ever made the mistake of thinking that no one was paying attention to the starlight falling from your eyes? How could you be so amazing and miss that you are like the sky another heart looks up to as it lays on the grass feeling the peace of a summer breeze your words travel upon? In a world designed to trap and conform, how dare you believe that no one saw you rattle the cage open with your bleeding teeth and bare hands? How in the world are you still smiling after all that? Hats off to you my friend, with the soul light that nothing can tarnish.

It is time to embrace the next level. And this will mean accepting the mask of role model. Know that the mask weighs both a ton and is as light as a feather. Know that the world will demand that you walk on water with joy, we live through your brave attempts with no fear of appearing foolishly nieve. The way you breathe under water is so inspiring that see here, feathers have grown where rib cages used to be, and with those that have fallen from your heart – I have collected ever so carefully. I use them to sage another’s frown until it becomes a smile.

Sometimes I tell them how afraid you were to leap off the edge, you know, but not to like…embarrass you or anything, but as if to say “Proof!” In a world where so many do not believe in who they are, you are like a diamond to me, to us all, and you can’t stop now because it is only, the beginning. Reward? Ha! This is not about you silly, it’s about us. Purify your intent, under the mask if you must, because we already believe in you, and no mistake you have made that allowed unworthiness into the vibration of your being, is stronger than Love.

This Is A Call To Action. Respond, knowing fully that you are supported by all that is.

 

Celestial Palms 

The tops of the tall trees applauded their wind filled leaves, and as butterfly nets, we gathered the words to open the other’s heart out of thin air. Tongues flapping as translucent wings kissed by constellation starlight’s grace. We spoke of the sky, tried to be as giving as the sun. Warm.

He said to me “You are an explosion of joy.” Then I began to ponder, perhaps the sun thinks itself to be cold. Perhaps it is the vastness, the distance between bodies, that alters perception. Confuses one long enough to not see how they shine in the hearts and minds of others. Perhaps the sun thinks itself to be cold –

and you know, just sits there, giving life to dreams hiding behind secret shadows full grown, by stepping across the horizon of a despair filled mourning, singing to the moon. 

And just maybe the moon thinks itself to be a bright shining star. Unaware that its body is borrowed, it fashions itself to be the brightest light in the night sky. 

Shhh. Please don’t break her illusion, don’t wake the moon up anymore than you would yourself. Her lips sing symphony keys that demystify the water labyrinth, and turns doubt into a mist over a lake by morning. 

And what is transformation, but a gentle release of a swiftly forgotten ember from the camp fire. Where the souls of nature spirits dance as cold stars, finally remembering who they are. 

Kevon Simpson 2017

The Butterfly Effect

Leave thy branch beneath thy feet, flutter through the air
Smell the water of a passing cloud, without a single care
Be the elusive essence of beauty that all know as such
A flutter as fair as this, be it not softer to the touch?
So they come with nets and things, to take it all away
Though keep thy beauty in a cage, it passes like the day
Quick and unpredictable, with very little fight
Stunned like Eros when Psyche fell before his sight.

Hatch from the egg casing a new world upon the eyes
Everything for what it really is, uncovered are the lies
Eat the green from leaf to leaf, build the body full
Dodge beak of bird and army ants, avoid the stinging pull
Find yourself a secret place right beneath a leaf
Coast is clear with no one near, cocoon into your heat
Be it dark, be it dank, with not a friend in sight
Cell by cell or wish by wish, build thy wings of light.

by Kevon Simpson 2013 ©
Poem from Grammatology