What To Do When ‘Role Model’ Picks You

“I didn’t sign up to be anybody’s role model” – Some Free Spirit

Sound familiar? Hey there free spirit, yeah you. What did you think following your dreams passionately to completion was going to do ? How could you have ever made the mistake of thinking that no one was paying attention to the starlight falling from your eyes? How could you be so amazing and miss that you are like the sky another heart looks up to as it lays on the grass feeling the peace of a summer breeze your words travel upon? In a world designed to trap and conform, how dare you believe that no one saw you rattle the cage open with your bleeding teeth and bare hands? How in the world are you still smiling after all that? Hats off to you my friend, with the soul light that nothing can tarnish.

It is time to embrace the next level. And this will mean accepting the mask of role model. Know that the mask weighs both a ton and is as light as a feather. Know that the world will demand that you walk on water with joy, we live through your brave attempts with no fear of appearing foolishly nieve. The way you breathe under water is so inspiring that see here, feathers have grown where rib cages used to be, and with those that have fallen from your heart – I have collected ever so carefully. I use them to sage another’s frown until it becomes a smile.

Sometimes I tell them how afraid you were to leap off the edge, you know, but not to like…embarrass you or anything, but as if to say “Proof!” In a world where so many do not believe in who they are, you are like a diamond to me, to us all, and you can’t stop now because it is only, the beginning. Reward? Ha! This is not about you silly, it’s about us. Purify your intent, under the mask if you must, because we already believe in you, and no mistake you have made that allowed unworthiness into the vibration of your being, is stronger than Love.

This Is A Call To Action. Respond, knowing fully that you are supported by all that is.

 

The Shadow Behind Shadow

SHAMANAs the whispy shadows escaped the bedroom, and across the ceiling, they landed in the auric field and mind of the person in the room experiencing a the most debilitating level of fear, shame, guilt, and self-hate in her life. For what else can develop in the heart of a person everyone else is trying to “fix” without first acknowledging their role in creating an environment, a psychic field of judgement pumping through the bioelectromagnetic waves of the heart? There are no such things as walls in the deeper levels of shamanic work. One is only able to cure by the result of the darkness they have faced inside their own hearts, and overcome.

The path is not an easy one because it can mean seeing and feeling things about, people, and places you’d rather not, things that would make another go mad if they are not steadily prepared over time. For example, as I was in the peak of a journey in the apartment where I was almost choked to death, I saw something I would never forget. You see, I wanted to get to the “root” of things, the hows and whys of such a disastrous unfolding in my life that happened a mere three days before I had to guide my own community into deeper healing visionary states. Understand, that if shamanic work is truly your calling, the sharpening of your sword in the fire of life is ceaseless, we have somewhat mistakenly named such moments, tests.

That night, the ocean had nothing on my tears, so infinite were they, that I knew not the power of the light anymore and sobbed until my body became limp with exhaustion. Then with my eyes closed, I saw with the eye inside, a being of ghastly geometric whirling patterns of light that had a joyous face as it hungrily drank my sorrow filled tears with exquisite delight. Immediately my sorrow was replaced with frightful disgust, my tears stopped like a car at a red light with a police camera. The thought that my sorrow was feeding a thing that I on a daily basis was not even aware of, was beyond perplexing, for it layed there in an ocean of sorrow feeding on the entire building. Thus I saw, from the visionary plane, that it was time for me to leave that neighborhood entirely.

If you read these words wondering if what I saw was real or not, the point has flown completely over your head. It is what we do with the visions that matter. It is how we integrate the messages of light and shadow that matters. Anyone can see something, cool, alien, spooky, or magical, but only the responsible travelers can turn it into something useful here and now.

So, as the whispy shadows escaped the bedroom and into the mind and auric field of the young lady we were called to serve, the importance of Palo Santo, Mapacho, Sage, and Lavender were made clear, for we had none of it and the cleansing work became extremely difficult without our tools. Still though we had, the most important tool of all, brave unconditional loving, and compassionate hearts. Rainbow warriors, take from this that even with your hands empty, the magic can still work. You, beloved, are the medicine, but for the love of all that is on your side, bring your damn tools to the ceremony.

Okay?

Midwife of Secrets

Words are written
all the way inside
on the back corner
of my heart.

It’s not even,
off-balance it is,
not written,
to confuse you.

You will wonder
just why it was carved
that particular way
on such ageless stone.

Far enough in
each comes to see
where I run out of paper
becomes the beating

of another’s barren cave.
The birth of a new poem.
Write it.

Kevon Simpson 2017 ©

I Remember You (Ode to Ayahuasca and the Indigenous)

How does this medicine
help me forgive?
Pain turned to light
where the sorrow used to live.
And even though my habbits
aren’t completely changed
I’ve found a love I can’t forget it
it extends across the cosmic range
Where stars give birth to butterflies
and other beautiful things
Quantum particle of my heart
it’s light that makes me sing

Oh Mother Ayahuasca
Do you know what you saved me from?
I was trapped in a maze of mirrors
into your arms I run
Oh Mother Ayahuasca
Do you know what you made me feel?
there’s a soul somewhere inside of me
the skin of my ego peeled.

and my heart is naked
in the middle of the night
it beats so perfect
I am freed from my plight
my heart is naked
in the middle of the night
it beats so perfect
I am freed from my plight

De ja vu, De ja Vu
Is just a soul memory
Do you remember me?
Do you

remember

me?

I

remember

you.

I remember you.

Kevon Simpson 2016 ©

Morning Meditation Message 27

There is no reason to feel ashamed of your sexuality and wherever upon the spectrum it falls. For its infinite expressions are woven into the living bodies of all life, long before we were able to name them. Even galaxies cross paths in passionate exchanges, and are forever changed. Rise beyond the narrow perspective of, human.

When the shame that may have been learned in childhood is allowed to be released over time, the addictions birthed from that shame begin to lose their grip, and over time they vanish as well. The questions you ask yourself matters, from them do the answers arrive. So if you have been asking “Why is loving myself so hard?” indeed you have come across many situations that show you exactly what you want to see – the answers to your question.

My love, just change the question “How easy can it be to love myself?” Know, that I look forward to your answers arriving.

Thank You HIV

Can you say it with me? “Thank you H.I.V” It’s a tough one I know. For now I can only say it with the emotions in my heart, on the tip of overflow. For now, saying that doesn’t make complete sense. It’s so much easier to just be angry – to fall into the vibration of the victim. People have asked me, or implied, “Have you come to terms with the dangerous things you did to catch it?” Without knowing anything about my life. What did I do? Enjoy a body I was meant to enjoy, while looking for love in all the wrong places? Has no one else ever done that? Do you really think it is your perfect behavior that protects you? We will all, age, get sick, and die. That is life. This is just my version of life, in this body, and part of the reason why I have this virus, is because I can get others to understand the weight of it with the use of my words. For there are many with it, who can not communicate it THIS way.
 
See my strength as I walk with this, and pull from it the strength you need to make it through your tough spots as well. I promise, I don’t mean to giggle at some of the problems people come to me with. All hearts hurt the same. It is about rising above the blame. It is about deciding to shift out of the vibration that kills your will to survive. During my dietas at Spiritual Dimensions in Padrecocha, Iquitos, Peru, the most difficult part of my process was seeing the soul contract I have with this virus. In some sessions I was able to see the cellular structure of it with Ayahuasca, how it operates in the physical body and shifts the emotions. In another session, in a plane of love, light, and messages from beyond duality, beyond ideas of good or bad, I saw the dance of the virus and my soul before taking this body. I am still trying to make sense of it. Hard as it is to accept at times, this is in divine order.
 
And so I say Thank You H.I.V for helping give me an experience of a lifetime, for without you being in my blood the dream of a lifetime would not have existed, because my other struggles were not enough to make my people want to help on that level. Not the homelessness, not the skin, not the sexuality, not the posts almost everyday despite it all, not almost getting killed in my own home two years ago, and certainly not the suicidal thoughts in the weight of it all. Do you really think that I am always smiling?
 
So thank you H.I.V for snapping the compassion out of the heart of my community so deeply. So that I can stand in all that I am, and for the first time in life, not feel the energy of jealousy or envy being sent my way in waves. These abilities, these gifts, this light, is the only way I can carry these burdens – yes plural – and make you really believe I am walking on privileged lucky air. No one looks at me like “Why does he have so much?” anymore.
 
Indeed it is a relief.
 
#ayahuasca
#integration
#kevoninspires
#hiv

Ayahuasca: A year later

It is the evening after a ceremony weekend, or the purge as it is also known, a whole year since my first time sitting with the ancient jungle brew Ayahuasca. There is an egocentric idea in the minds of many people that think that what happens on a medicine journey can be done on ones own. So they watch from the distance and judge. Though, all one has to do is turn on the television for a few minutes of the evening news to see just how good humanity handles things on its own. Indeed there are many paths to the deepest awakening of life purpose available to us all during this wonderful age of ascension, and in that regard, it is vitally important to protect this very special one. A knowing of which is only available to you in countless documentaries and articles because our amazon is being destroyed, and thus from the destruction this secret was exposed. So our plant guardians are reaching out to those who will listen, and that is the calling one hears before drinking Ayahuasca. The subtlety of plant communication made clear in the heart of ones awareness. It is the desire to experience a mode of healing that hasn’t gone through the rational mind of science, or the pockets of big pharma.

Ruysen Flores Venancino_38After a deep betrayal a few years ago, my life began to spiral slowly out of control. I found myself in the company of poisonous people (I fully acknowledge that at times, I too have been the poisonous one for others, so this is not about blame) who did not want to see me succeed. My life consisted of living within a beauty destroying nest of hungry venomous snakes who were addicted to drugs and keeping it a secret. So, step one of my healing, was taking responsibility for the situation I allowed myself to be asleep in due to a lack of self-respect, and a lack of self-love. You see, I wanted the healing for others more than I sought it for myself; dedicated my life to it. Though, what I call “healing” I have come to understand as a remembering of the perfection that is already within, at the time however, I approached it from a perspective of trying to “fix” people, and even myself. The call of the medicine got louder and louder during this time, and after a failed attempt at raising the funds to go to Peru, I began to fine tune my intent. I allowed into my awareness the possibility that maybe these kinds of ceremonies were being done in the U.S.A but underground, and I was right.

Though I will not go into specific details due to our current laws around entheogenic compounds, I will say that working with Ayahuasca was not my first mind altering experience. Though, heart altering is a more accurate description. In fact, these experiences have been pivotal in the unfolding of my ability to forgive and be a vibrating source of tireless love for so many in my life. Meditation has also been a vital tool for the integration and application of entheogenic experiences that forced me to break open my human level of compassion by contemplating the kind of compassion it takes to be a planet. So when I weigh the ability of our planet’s heart to give, next to the ability of my own heart to give, I see that the room for growth is infinite. A heart full of pain can not support life. So, meditating on planetary compassion now comes with a richness of layered meaning that wasn’t available to me before. Yet I understand that “the planet’s heart” is still a foreign concept to some. If even just a thought, it is a beautiful thought that if integrated into ones awareness, and the awareness of those in positions of power specifically, the destruction of our forests would not be happening, nor would the bombing of each other be a real thing in our world.

juan-Carlos-Taminchi-6I can write pages upon pages of the images I’ve seen during these journeys, and speak to you of the ancestors greeting me with joy. However, the message that came through after a year of clearing childhood traumas, stepping into my path as a shaman and more, was: Remember what you didn’t see. After a year of repeating the message “remember what you see” La Madre Medicina flipped it on me! I am not only in awe of the teaching, but in how it was delivered. How is it that a plant remembered its place in the pages of the book of inspiring my life? How does it remember where it left off, and continue teaching months later? We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of light, there is still light. We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of sound, there is still sound. We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of feeling there are still feelings unknown, untapped – the uncharted territories of creation. Entire worlds dwell in lightless silent spaces. It is from these spaces that the complexity of imagination has its origin, and is then made manifest in our physical reality.

So a year later, I’m still with the same lovely community, and I’ve made some very special friends who understand me, and support me blossoming into more than I ever imagined for my life. I sometimes sing in ceremony and play my steel tongue drum Tully, her name means peace. Thanks to Ayahuasca I got over the fear of being a musician, and in allowing my heart to sing, I help others do the same. You should see me banging my djembe down the street, playing my didgeridoo for the neighborhood, or playing Tully in the subway. After a year of this work, I am happy to say that I feel like it is wonderful to be myself. I used to hate existing, and that is now a thing of the past.

Seeing In The Dark

remember what you didn’t see
hiding for eternity
the phantoms that swim
in spaces unknown
until you decide to make them shown

and you can hold them hiding well
though they bring chaos as they swell

flashing lights and secret sights
in sacred spaces glow
as you seek the more you learn
remember what they didn’t show

-by Kevon Simpson (written during ceremony)

La Madre. La Medicina. Gracias Gracias Gracias.

Rainbow Serpent

Morning Meditation Message 25

“In our interactions with others, gentleness, kindness, respect are the source of harmony.” – Pocket Buddha

Sometimes the messages come from people in our lives that we are not ready to hear the message from. We form many reasons in our minds around why we should or should not listen to someone and act upon those reasons. Even if we are not making an outward display of our true feelings around what someone is sharing with us, our actions reveal the truth over time. We can’t figure it all out on our own, and not every divine message is going to come from a soft voice. There are times when we must be shaken so deeply to the core of our beliefs that we no longer have the strength to hold on to the ones that are not in the spirit of creating a better life for oneself and humanity. Sometimes the words can be triggering, but if you tap into the meditative practice of deep listening, you can hear the message underneath what one may even call aggressive communication. Let’s face it, not everyone in our world has worked on communicating the way you like it to be. Only you can do that. At times it’s not even the fact that the other person is communicating aggressively that is the problem. It is that you are so used to communicating with yourself aggressively, that the interpretation of someone else doing that to you is unbearable. It is as if your heart says “I do that quite well to myself already and I can’t take another ounce of it.”

So why let negative self talk continue? How can you set yourself free or be open to nourishing things if you can’t love yourself in your own mind? I really do mean loving everything that has happened to you, and loving even more your ability to transcend it all. You don’t have to interpret your life experience as broken. The interpretation of brokenness invites more of the life situations that create it by nature of activating the plane of thought and emotion that inevitably leads to physical manifestation. A belief in your wholeness will manifest situations that reflect it back to you. You will hear words you weren’t open to listening to before, simply because they were coming from a direction or a voice you did not want or expect it to come from. You will move beyond your ego so much, that you will even be able to listen to the parts of you that you miss. The inner child who believed in possibilities, the inner child who found play in the middle of wars, the inner child in you who creates joy effortlessly. To change your life, you must change your thoughts, and you can do so by meeting yourself with gentleness, kindness, and respect. Then you will naturally give the same to others. Self harmony = World harmony.

Your life does not have to look like anyone else for you to feel good about it. Love life. You are it, and so is the messenger. See the light beyond form, and remember the power of our souls. You are the fluid light of love eternally flowing, visiting a human body for now. Use your time wisely.

Morning Meditation Message 24

“Awakening is natural, delusion is not.”Pocket Buddha

To understand what is being said, we must first inspect our thought regarding what delusion is and how it manifests as subtle self defeating experiences in our lives. Subtle experiences that build up over time into an avalanche. The power of our perception is a live and breathing thing. In order for one to suppress a wound or feel the need to do so, a perceived negative interpretation of events has to take over both heart and mind over time. And so each time we successfully hide the pain from our conscious non-judgmental awareness, we give birth to the havoc delusion can create drop by drop. Face what is, be with what is, learn from what is, to grow beyond what is.

The challenge is remembering that by stepping into these 3 dimensional bodies, we at times allow ourselves to forget that awakening is a natural part of who we are and our experiences here. The fear of feeling, stifles growth on the multidimensional levels of ones being, and this is shown in the repeated experience of the nightmare, for not even in sleep can we find good rest should we decide to continue forgetting who we are.

You know, it’s a world full of people waiting for their lives to be perfect so they can finally be of service in some grand way, and as we await the rising of the already perfectness of what is – within the now moment – to make it through the doors of our perception, refugees, family, and friends, scream for help and many ignore it because having compassion and taking action requires touching the hidden wound inside oneself. It requires touching the pain we pretend is not there. It requires the melting of the “I have everything under control” persona. It requires the choice to turn off your own forgetting, and to welcome within your heart the choice to remember.

Believing that you have absolute control over everything in even your own life, is the ultimate delusion. Everything under control? So, what is it that is breathing when you forget? The naturalness of what you are; life awakening to itself.

Namaste.

Hiding

Hi Beautiful People,

This is a piece I composed on my Manastone Steel Tongue Drum for healing ceremonial work. Her name is Tully, and I hope she creates the feeling of breathing through your heart. Remember, it is okay to be who you are.

I am open to wonderful collaborative opportunities that will allow the creating of healing music. I am also open to playing at events, art galleries, or any beautiful place that would be complimented by a beautiful sound. I’m open to ideas, let’s connect.

You can reach me here.