Morning Meditation Message 28

Self-judgments are not the truth of your limitless being. Writing it seems, is an act of magical wizardry. So even if your self-sabotaging mechanism of poisonous thoughts are woven deep into the habitual pathways of your neurological mapping, there is still hope. Remember that repetition unravels the thread of forgetting. What have you forgotten? That you are already magnificent, whole, and complete. It happens to all of us from time to time, especially when we are at the gates of a transformation our soul is no longer asking us if we are ready for, a transformation it is pushing us through. And this is because your life, is not only your own. It is quite beautiful that we belong to each other this way. We level up as a whole.

A fear of evolving, collectively, keeps all of humanity down. So, in your tiny drop of a life when compared to the other billions, what is your contribution of inner vibration? What is your silent song? Is it all woe, or is there still some joy and hope in there, even when you look at the sky and the only thing shining is the fire of wars on the horizon. Can you be the sunshine by remembering why you came on a level of soul? If you are a being that recognizes all as you, then what can you ever cling to? You don’t have to hold yourself in a choke-hold. So where does this thirst for more come from? And why cling to mistakes made long ago, past the point of karmic re-balancing and self-forgiveness? The ego identity is not your enemy, unless you make it so.

A fulfilled heart flows through life and allows the sea of life to bring it that which it is in like vibration with. If you can feel how abundant you are, there is a part uncovered from within your inner being, where forcing things is no longer needed. Of course you will still have to work hard and thorough at times, but let not your work in the external world be more than your work in the internal world, because you would fail before you even begin walking towards whatever action you are intending to succeed at. Can you allow yourself to still feel vibrant even in the honest witnessing of what you perceive as shortcomings? Can you love yourself enough to write down things you like about yourself, and let self-love, and self-appreciation be the point of vibration that attracts what you need to you?

Or do you love the spirals of the roller coaster more than the manifestation of your dreams? You see, if you love what you are intending to create more, then someone telling you to write it down, does not feel like a demand. It is an invitation to a key of the creation process. Because even the device you are reading these words from was once written down, your home was once a blueprint with exact measurements and notes, Mozart feverishly wrote down on napkins the music that would out live his days. Writing it seems, is the first place where what you are imagining becomes physical reality. It is the uncovering of the possibility that another set of eyes may one day see what was important enough to last. How can you say you honor ancient wisdom, and not write your affirmations, dreams, and goals down?

How can you say you are a creator and not write things down!? Even if what you are intending to create is a different version of yourself, have you written down what that looks like? You don’t write it, because deep down inside you don’t believe it. You don’t believe your worthy of the very thing you’re imagining. I can believe in you until my face turns blue, but if you don’t believe in you enough to receive the keys that are being shared, you will not evolve.

And you can read all the ancient mysteries and feel quite wise, but can you say things in your own words like: Writing was good enough for Thoth, but not you?

The people that will come to you, will need to hear and read it in your own words.

We have no more time for pretense, and fear. We are being called to create a new world by tasting the idea, writing it down, then going back into the deep meditation process and visualizing/feeling it into being. It can be quite simple, but know that the order is not carved into stone, but treat the pieces like they are. The trick is that you have to do it in the Gamma brain wave frequency. The emotional key to the gamma waves is compassion. The key to creation, is caring about others compassionately, being thankful for what you have, and then visualizing from that vibration what you would like to create in harmony with the highest good for all.

And so I repeat: It is quite beautiful that we belong to each other this way. We level up as a whole.

And so it is.

A Sense of Humor Doesn’t Age

It’s a thing you only gently notice in your twenties, but by the time your thirties come around and you see your first few gray hairs, in places you would rather them not be, you are sure of it, “Yup, I’m aging.” Though this fact has been true the moment your cells began dividing in your mother’s womb, something about seeing the wrinkles slowly appear, and your patience for certain things slowly disappear, solidifies this one fact: this body will not live forever. It can be a challenge to love something that you feel is betraying you through the inevitable passing of time, that we often see as an enemy, instead of a most cherished friend. Though, a gift these beautiful loaned bodies shall remain. From within them we declare so loudly what we don’t have time for, in hope for some reflection’s echo of agreement that makes us feel a little less alone in our defiance, the fear of embracing our death, on the horizon of a child’s eyes. In the last moments, the truth is, we have time even for the most annoying thing.

But who wants to grow hair out the ears!? I mean seriously. And where does the long nose hair really end. Why must speech slow down like knees? And why do I need glasses now? For the longest while I just thought, you know, “something was in my eye.” You want to know what was in my eye, a prescription, but I couldn’t read it. Life is one big catch 22, and rightfully so, it is how it makes you reach for and remember community, the people you age with and need. This knowing that 100 years from now, none of us will be here, makes you search for others that “get it” the older you get. What to do with this feeling of having a longer story than the younger ones want to listen to? Cherished eternal elder of elders, can you teach me?

In April of this year, our EIC community lost a very special soul that “got it,” and though suffering through each stage of cancer as we painfully watched, she made time to share long stories, and she made time to laugh full and deep. Sometimes all we would have to do is look at each other, and the comedy of whatever the situation was, was instantly communicated. And isn’t that what community is, that someone once a stranger, can become long lost family you can share wordless laughter and love with. That though temporary, life gives us these gems of memory to hold on to, these reasons to enjoy each breath we take. Reasons to reconnect with those we’ve stayed away from for far too long. It is as if we like to pretend that we are in these incarnations forever, and that delicious delusion, eases the gentle prick of each seconds permanent passing. We know we are leaving. We must make the time to see each other.

Blessed are those who notice the moments when time slows down for a window of miracle to be made manifest. Being allowed to say goodbye at the right moment, is a miracle. As she lay on her death bed, we sang a healing icaro together in the hospital one last time, we laughed together, the final laugh, the laugh that hides tears, but is still so sweet. I kissed her gently on her head, and whispered I love you in her ear. As I looked back one last time before heading to the airport to catch my flight back to Peru, I knew it was my last time seeing my friend alive. From that moment I have learned a few things, humor can never have a terminal illness, and like the beautiful soul light of my dear friend, mother to our medicine circles, a sense of humor doesn’t die.

This post was written in loving memory of Karina Rivera. Thank you for becoming a guardian, a guiding spirit, an ancestor. Thank you for being a most wonderful friend. The soothing sound of your joyous laughter, fills my heart today.

With Love,
Kevon

The Shadow Behind Shadow

SHAMANAs the whispy shadows escaped the bedroom, and across the ceiling, they landed in the auric field and mind of the person in the room experiencing a the most debilitating level of fear, shame, guilt, and self-hate in her life. For what else can develop in the heart of a person everyone else is trying to “fix” without first acknowledging their role in creating an environment, a psychic field of judgement pumping through the bioelectromagnetic waves of the heart? There are no such things as walls in the deeper levels of shamanic work. One is only able to cure by the result of the darkness they have faced inside their own hearts, and overcome.

The path is not an easy one because it can mean seeing and feeling things about, people, and places you’d rather not, things that would make another go mad if they are not steadily prepared over time. For example, as I was in the peak of a journey in the apartment where I was almost choked to death, I saw something I would never forget. You see, I wanted to get to the “root” of things, the hows and whys of such a disastrous unfolding in my life that happened a mere three days before I had to guide my own community into deeper healing visionary states. Understand, that if shamanic work is truly your calling, the sharpening of your sword in the fire of life is ceaseless, we have somewhat mistakenly named such moments, tests.

That night, the ocean had nothing on my tears, so infinite were they, that I knew not the power of the light anymore and sobbed until my body became limp with exhaustion. Then with my eyes closed, I saw with the eye inside, a being of ghastly geometric whirling patterns of light that had a joyous face as it hungrily drank my sorrow filled tears with exquisite delight. Immediately my sorrow was replaced with frightful disgust, my tears stopped like a car at a red light with a police camera. The thought that my sorrow was feeding a thing that I on a daily basis was not even aware of, was beyond perplexing, for it layed there in an ocean of sorrow feeding on the entire building. Thus I saw, from the visionary plane, that it was time for me to leave that neighborhood entirely.

If you read these words wondering if what I saw was real or not, the point has flown completely over your head. It is what we do with the visions that matter. It is how we integrate the messages of light and shadow that matters. Anyone can see something, cool, alien, spooky, or magical, but only the responsible travelers can turn it into something useful here and now.

So, as the whispy shadows escaped the bedroom and into the mind and auric field of the young lady we were called to serve, the importance of Palo Santo, Mapacho, Sage, and Lavender were made clear, for we had none of it and the cleansing work became extremely difficult without our tools. Still though we had, the most important tool of all, brave unconditional loving, and compassionate hearts. Rainbow warriors, take from this that even with your hands empty, the magic can still work. You, beloved, are the medicine, but for the love of all that is on your side, bring your damn tools to the ceremony.

Okay?

I Remember You (Ode to Ayahuasca and the Indigenous)

How does this medicine
help me forgive?
Pain turned to light
where the sorrow used to live.
And even though my habbits
aren’t completely changed
I’ve found a love I can’t forget it
it extends across the cosmic range
Where stars give birth to butterflies
and other beautiful things
Quantum particle of my heart
it’s light that makes me sing

Oh Mother Ayahuasca
Do you know what you saved me from?
I was trapped in a maze of mirrors
into your arms I run
Oh Mother Ayahuasca
Do you know what you made me feel?
there’s a soul somewhere inside of me
the skin of my ego peeled.

and my heart is naked
in the middle of the night
it beats so perfect
I am freed from my plight
my heart is naked
in the middle of the night
it beats so perfect
I am freed from my plight

De ja vu, De ja Vu
Is just a soul memory
Do you remember me?
Do you

remember

me?

I

remember

you.

I remember you.

Kevon Simpson 2016 ©

Thank You HIV

Can you say it with me? “Thank you H.I.V” It’s a tough one I know. For now I can only say it with the emotions in my heart, on the tip of overflow. For now, saying that doesn’t make complete sense. It’s so much easier to just be angry – to fall into the vibration of the victim. People have asked me, or implied, “Have you come to terms with the dangerous things you did to catch it?” Without knowing anything about my life. What did I do? Enjoy a body I was meant to enjoy, while looking for love in all the wrong places? Has no one else ever done that? Do you really think it is your perfect behavior that protects you? We will all, age, get sick, and die. That is life. This is just my version of life, in this body, and part of the reason why I have this virus, is because I can get others to understand the weight of it with the use of my words. For there are many with it, who can not communicate it THIS way.
 
See my strength as I walk with this, and pull from it the strength you need to make it through your tough spots as well. I promise, I don’t mean to giggle at some of the problems people come to me with. All hearts hurt the same. It is about rising above the blame. It is about deciding to shift out of the vibration that kills your will to survive. During my dietas at Spiritual Dimensions in Padrecocha, Iquitos, Peru, the most difficult part of my process was seeing the soul contract I have with this virus. In some sessions I was able to see the cellular structure of it with Ayahuasca, how it operates in the physical body and shifts the emotions. In another session, in a plane of love, light, and messages from beyond duality, beyond ideas of good or bad, I saw the dance of the virus and my soul before taking this body. I am still trying to make sense of it. Hard as it is to accept at times, this is in divine order.
 
And so I say Thank You H.I.V for helping give me an experience of a lifetime, for without you being in my blood the dream of a lifetime would not have existed, because my other struggles were not enough to make my people want to help on that level. Not the homelessness, not the skin, not the sexuality, not the posts almost everyday despite it all, not almost getting killed in my own home two years ago, and certainly not the suicidal thoughts in the weight of it all. Do you really think that I am always smiling?
 
So thank you H.I.V for snapping the compassion out of the heart of my community so deeply. So that I can stand in all that I am, and for the first time in life, not feel the energy of jealousy or envy being sent my way in waves. These abilities, these gifts, this light, is the only way I can carry these burdens – yes plural – and make you really believe I am walking on privileged lucky air. No one looks at me like “Why does he have so much?” anymore.
 
Indeed it is a relief.
 
#ayahuasca
#integration
#kevoninspires
#hiv

Ayahuasca: A year later

It is the evening after a ceremony weekend, or the purge as it is also known, a whole year since my first time sitting with the ancient jungle brew Ayahuasca. There is an egocentric idea in the minds of many people that think that what happens on a medicine journey can be done on ones own. So they watch from the distance and judge. Though, all one has to do is turn on the television for a few minutes of the evening news to see just how good humanity handles things on its own. Indeed there are many paths to the deepest awakening of life purpose available to us all during this wonderful age of ascension, and in that regard, it is vitally important to protect this very special one. A knowing of which is only available to you in countless documentaries and articles because our amazon is being destroyed, and thus from the destruction this secret was exposed. So our plant guardians are reaching out to those who will listen, and that is the calling one hears before drinking Ayahuasca. The subtlety of plant communication made clear in the heart of ones awareness. It is the desire to experience a mode of healing that hasn’t gone through the rational mind of science, or the pockets of big pharma.

Ruysen Flores Venancino_38After a deep betrayal a few years ago, my life began to spiral slowly out of control. I found myself in the company of poisonous people (I fully acknowledge that at times, I too have been the poisonous one for others, so this is not about blame) who did not want to see me succeed. My life consisted of living within a beauty destroying nest of hungry venomous snakes who were addicted to drugs and keeping it a secret. So, step one of my healing, was taking responsibility for the situation I allowed myself to be asleep in due to a lack of self-respect, and a lack of self-love. You see, I wanted the healing for others more than I sought it for myself; dedicated my life to it. Though, what I call “healing” I have come to understand as a remembering of the perfection that is already within, at the time however, I approached it from a perspective of trying to “fix” people, and even myself. The call of the medicine got louder and louder during this time, and after a failed attempt at raising the funds to go to Peru, I began to fine tune my intent. I allowed into my awareness the possibility that maybe these kinds of ceremonies were being done in the U.S.A but underground, and I was right.

Though I will not go into specific details due to our current laws around entheogenic compounds, I will say that working with Ayahuasca was not my first mind altering experience. Though, heart altering is a more accurate description. In fact, these experiences have been pivotal in the unfolding of my ability to forgive and be a vibrating source of tireless love for so many in my life. Meditation has also been a vital tool for the integration and application of entheogenic experiences that forced me to break open my human level of compassion by contemplating the kind of compassion it takes to be a planet. So when I weigh the ability of our planet’s heart to give, next to the ability of my own heart to give, I see that the room for growth is infinite. A heart full of pain can not support life. So, meditating on planetary compassion now comes with a richness of layered meaning that wasn’t available to me before. Yet I understand that “the planet’s heart” is still a foreign concept to some. If even just a thought, it is a beautiful thought that if integrated into ones awareness, and the awareness of those in positions of power specifically, the destruction of our forests would not be happening, nor would the bombing of each other be a real thing in our world.

juan-Carlos-Taminchi-6I can write pages upon pages of the images I’ve seen during these journeys, and speak to you of the ancestors greeting me with joy. However, the message that came through after a year of clearing childhood traumas, stepping into my path as a shaman and more, was: Remember what you didn’t see. After a year of repeating the message “remember what you see” La Madre Medicina flipped it on me! I am not only in awe of the teaching, but in how it was delivered. How is it that a plant remembered its place in the pages of the book of inspiring my life? How does it remember where it left off, and continue teaching months later? We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of light, there is still light. We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of sound, there is still sound. We are being called to remember that beyond the perceivable spectrum of feeling there are still feelings unknown, untapped – the uncharted territories of creation. Entire worlds dwell in lightless silent spaces. It is from these spaces that the complexity of imagination has its origin, and is then made manifest in our physical reality.

So a year later, I’m still with the same lovely community, and I’ve made some very special friends who understand me, and support me blossoming into more than I ever imagined for my life. I sometimes sing in ceremony and play my steel tongue drum Tully, her name means peace. Thanks to Ayahuasca I got over the fear of being a musician, and in allowing my heart to sing, I help others do the same. You should see me banging my djembe down the street, playing my didgeridoo for the neighborhood, or playing Tully in the subway. After a year of this work, I am happy to say that I feel like it is wonderful to be myself. I used to hate existing, and that is now a thing of the past.

Seeing In The Dark

remember what you didn’t see
hiding for eternity
the phantoms that swim
in spaces unknown
until you decide to make them shown

and you can hold them hiding well
though they bring chaos as they swell

flashing lights and secret sights
in sacred spaces glow
as you seek the more you learn
remember what they didn’t show

-by Kevon Simpson (written during ceremony)

La Madre. La Medicina. Gracias Gracias Gracias.

Rainbow Serpent

Hiding

Hi Beautiful People,

This is a piece I composed on my Manastone Steel Tongue Drum for healing ceremonial work. Her name is Tully, and I hope she creates the feeling of breathing through your heart. Remember, it is okay to be who you are.

I am open to wonderful collaborative opportunities that will allow the creating of healing music. I am also open to playing at events, art galleries, or any beautiful place that would be complimented by a beautiful sound. I’m open to ideas, let’s connect.

You can reach me here.

Cuando Los Arboles Canta

Kaleidoscopic outpouring of truth sparkling jewel,
jingling a fine fixing fiery flow of forgotten fun,
reverse twist purged open to speak in parables not uttered,
in a quiet room beckoning deeper silence still,
though billing the moment the cost of the thrill.

Where dose a song go when it leaves?
Slipping, each blinked eye lid’s memory cleaves,
the midwife of melody vines her head from the trees,
but where does an icaro go when it leaves?
Mind like drum as quiet trapping snare,
how is it that we hear music beyond silent air?

We sense where she rests, and come to meet her again,
but where does melody go to be born and call herself friend?

Tu voz era una galaxia,
quando los arboles canta,
mi corazon canta,
no es una idea profundo,
es una idea mas facil.
Amor canta en todos las lenguas.
Tus sentimientos es musica de las estrellas.

Escucha.

-Kevon Simpson 2016©

Medicine Message 2: Freedom To Be Wild

What is in you is wild and repressed. You hide by lowering your volume, and by trying to silence what is externally loud, as your heart screams its disastrous vibrations above it all. There is nothing to conquer, when someone allows you to help, it is not an invitation to take everything over. In positions of leadership, your suppressed wild side shows. Temporarily in the shadow, it waits for its moment to deconstruct and destroy the beautiful gift being presented to you. When trapped in ego, you allow the rising of the hidden shadow to win, you allow yourself to blame the poison in you on someone else. You bring the chaos, by nature of the chaos within you, that you ignore. Look in the mirror, and be honest with how you prepared for the ceremony. Take into account the energetic residue of the days before and the actions you took. Lots of TV, sex, drugs, unhealthy foods, and partying is not how to prepare for a ceremony, especially if you are in a position of leadership. There is not enough sage in the world that will take away the fact that you have to work on cleansing your own energy as a daily part of your life, while being mindful of who you allow to walk through it. You’re not a garbage can.

Don’t pretend to know or understand what anyone is doing, saying, or feeling, until you have made resting in silence a priority in your life. You can’t truly hear anyone through the noisy filter of a clouded mind filled with expectations. You can’t feel the sincerity, nor trust the process of what is being presented, from a fearful heart. You can’t control the gift, nor the gift giver. When you attempt that, you rob yourself of the surprise that brings joy, because you think only your way is the way. It is impossible for you to control everything. You don’t walk into the emergency room and start doing your own stitches. Allow yourself to be helped. Humility is key, you were alone before the thing to be “taken over” presented itself, it is that desire of taking things over and controlling what is not yours, that keeps you in addictive lonely spirals. You want to numb the feeling of failure from trying to control that which you can not. The work is bigger than us all, sit down and learn. If you think you can do it better, please, start. More people are needed. Learn the medicine songs, write your own, learn the meditations, read the books, write the poetry prayers, create the following, create the questionnaire, read them, learn the instruments, be an activist outside of ceremony, respond to each need with sincerity, remember repeatedly that it is not about you, show up strong despite how exhausting the preparation can be, survive being ignored and under appreciated, be willing to die for it, be willing to be locked up for it, take the risk. If none of that sounds like it is to your liking, please be quiet, sit down, and take that moment to pull the blanket over your head and cry, be open to being helped, let the pain out. My body is not my age, neither is yours.

See beyond the limitation.
I See – is a prayer.
Freedom to be wild.

Love and Kindness are enough.

Mindful Shaman

Eyes wide open,
not knowing they’re asleep,
so many prefer the token,
compassionate tears I weep.
 
Saying “he’s too sensitive”
but see, it is not so.
I just love you so deeply,
show up for your show.
 
See how they wait,
clapping before you arrive,
set your sight straight,
alive but not alive?
 
My goodness, much has happened,
and I know that happened too,
but excuses are excuses,
time to see you.

Kevon Simpson ©2016