There is no reason to feel ashamed of your sexuality and wherever upon the spectrum it falls. For its infinite expressions are woven into the living bodies of all life, long before we were able to name them. Even galaxies cross paths in passionate exchanges, and are forever changed. Rise beyond the narrow perspective of, human.
When the shame that may have been learned in childhood is allowed to be released over time, the addictions birthed from that shame begin to lose their grip, and over time they vanish as well. The questions you ask yourself matters, from them do the answers arrive. So if you have been asking “Why is loving myself so hard?” indeed you have come across many situations that show you exactly what you want to see – the answers to your question.
My love, just change the question “How easy can it be to love myself?” Know, that I look forward to your answers arriving.